Soshite...Promise
by Djinn
Summary: [Shounen ai - m/m warning Yamato x Jyou] A three-parter, purely the fault of my English prelims. Also known as ‘It was obvious she had never intended to keep her promise’. Sora learns of Jyou’s affection for Yamato, gets pressured into promising to
1. From the eyes of Jyou

…I recently realised that 'Soshite…Promise' makes an interesting example of the three basics of storywriting. Plot, climax, resolution. This here sets the plot…

Part One. A short, media res-eqsue fic from Jyou's POV, also known as 'It Was Obvious She Had Never Intended to Keep Her Promise' (1997 O'level compostion question)...this thing was just supposed to be practice for my English finals. It got a bit out of hand.

# 

# Soshite…Promise

[From the eyes of Jyou]

By Djinn

"Please," my voice was barely a whisper, but the horror and desperation in my eyes was enough to carry the meaning of my words over. "Don't tell him. I can't let him know…I can't."

She studied me intensely, her obvious indecision stabbing at me from where she stood.

"It's not fair that way, you know," she, too, was quiet, "not just to Yamato…Jyou, it's not fair for you either."

"Sora…" I could feel the hot tears burning in my eyes as my vision started to blur, "You know what he would say if he knew."

"Do I?" She asked cryptically, "Do you? Why are you so sure that he would reject you? Jyou –"

"Look at me!" My voice rose involuntarily as the tears spilled over, and I couldn't see her anymore. "Just look at me! Do you think anyone would want me? Do you think _he _would?"

"Jyou –"

"Just –" I swallowed, trying to get a grip on my emotions. "Just promise, okay? Just promise me not to tell. Please."

She stared at me again, and I wondered what she saw. A clown? A whiny, wimpy worrywart who couldn't even take care of himself? Or just what I really was, a failure who couldn't do anything right. Who couldn't even confess his feelings to the one he loved.

"Please." I said again, blinking blindly through the tears.

She looked down, bit her lip. When she looked up again, she nodded, though her reluctance was clear.

"I promise."

"Thank you." I whispered, almost collapsing with relief. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, she was gone.

She didn't say anything about it again, not the next time I met her, when we gathered when the campfire for dinner. And she didn't say anything about it either when we all turned in for the night. It was almost enough for me to forget the way she had accidentally come upon me by the riverside, as I was whispering confessions of a love I would never publicly admit.

_"Yama-kun…if only you would love me back…"_

_"Jyou –"_

_"Sora?! What! What did you hear?!"_

_"Jyou…why didn't you ever tell him?"_

To think that he that if he knew…at best, he might laugh it off, and the others would be pointing at me and smirking behind my back for days. Stupid Jyou. To think Yamato could ever love him. Like a toad after a swan, as the old saying goes.

…At worst, he might never want to speak to me again. I don't think I could handle that. Not just rejection, but the disgust…

It was such a relief she promised.

The incident was almost completely out of my mind as the next few days passed in the flurry they always did in the Digiworld.

Then I came back one night after a wash in the nearby river, to find Yamato staring at me in shock and astonishment – and Sora beside him looking like a deer caught in a car's headlights.

Of course. It was obvious she had never intended to keep her promise.

I didn't know what to say. I could barely breathe as a crushing horror gripped my heart. All I could see was the disbelief in his bright blue eyes as he came up to me and asked, "Jyou…is it true?"

"I'm sorry…" I whispered as the familiar tears rose, and the world began its fade, "I never meant for you to know…"

A stunned realisation crept into those blue eyes at my words. He took two steps back, and I thought I might die from the heartbreak. Oh, how those two steps spoke volumes.

Dimly, I heard Sora mutter a vague excuse, and hurry away from the clearing. Then it was just him and I, the campfire, and the two steps distance between us.

It seemed like eternity had passed before he spoke again.

"Jyou…I –"

" – You don't know what to say." I completed the sentence for him woodenly. "You never thought that I might feel like this. You're sorry, but it's impossible. I know."

And before he could utter another word, I turned and ran, ran away, fled back to the river with its rippling reflection, and salted the fresh lake-water with my tears.

I knew. Oh, yes, I knew. And the knowing somehow seemed to make it hurt all the more.

I couldn't bring myself to go back that night. I think I heard them call for me, even _him_. But I huddled behind the riverside's rocks, staring miserably at the moon's reflection, trying to pretend I couldn't hear the worry in their voices.

…It would have been so much easier if she'd just kept her promise…

**To be continued…**

…And *there's* the prerequisite topic line! ^_^****


	2. From the eyes of Sora

…This here is the unbearably convenient climax…

Part Two. From Sora's point of view this time. Picks up right where the previous part left off.

[The kind of fic only a YamaJyou

Fan who cries at the thought of Taito

Would write.

Because nobody else will.]

# 

# Soshite…Promise

[From the eyes of Sora]

By Djinn

The rustling sound of the hurried parting of bushes filled the air, and I knew he was gone. For a while I considered running after him, getting him back, making them _talk_…but I had done enough damage, hadn't I?

I felt like such a jerk.

But then…but then, you could tell how much he'd wanted Yamato, just by listening to the sound of his voice as he'd said those words…that wistful, heartbreaking whisper. I hadn't been able to see his face, but I didn't need to. It wasn't even the words that said it all.

Gods, that sound.

Any feelings of disgust that might have arisen in me had vanished with that sound. I never stopped to wonder if a relationship like that would be wrong…and in the same instant, I supposed I never even stopped to consider if Yamato might think so. That longing, that wrenching, wanting need…how could anything go wrong with a feeling like that? How could Yamato not love him back?

I guess I'm an incurable romantic at heart.

When he'd made me promise not to tell…it had been so hard. Why? Why a secret? After all, there was no shame in love…was there? I had never even thought about it. I'd always thought that love was such a wonderful thing, you should shout it out from the mountaintops for the whole world to know. I just couldn't understand. But he'd been crying, he was so desperate…I had to promise. Whether I wanted to or not.

…I tried, at first. I really did. I'm not the sort to go around blabbing all the secrets people trust me with, to break the promises I make. But it became harder and harder as I started to _notice_. The way he closed his eyes for just that second whenever they touched, the pure happiness that would blossom on his face when Yamato smiled, the unutterable _love_ and adoration that would shine in his eyes when Yamato spoke…and the unutterable sorrow when Yamato cosied up with…someone else. If it didn't break his heart, it broke mine.

And I couldn't take it anymore. I just couldn't take it anymore. I told him.

_"Yamato…don't you think Jyou's been acting a little strange lately?"_

_"I noticed. He keeps tripping over his words when he talks to me. Jyou should worry a little less…it's bad for his health."_

_"…It's not exactly worrying that makes him trip over his words."_

_"…What's wrong with Jyou?"_

_"Yamato…he's in love…with you."_

__And then Jyou had come back. That horrified look as he'd stepped into the clearing to find us…when he'd looked at me, he didn't even have to say the words.

_You betrayed me._ I could see it in his eyes, just before Yamato went to him, and tears misted them over. _You betrayed me._

I couldn't stay. I couldn't. And he couldn't either, it seemed. Hesitantly, I looked back at the clearing – and Yamato was standing there, still and alone.

Oh, Sora, Sora. What have you wrought?

We called all night, but he never answered. The others wondered what could have happened, but Yamato and I…we knew.

He did come back the next morning, weary and pale, refusing to meet any of our eyes. When they questioned, he'd only muttered something about needing to be alone. Tactful for once, they'd decided not to pursue the issue, and handed him breakfast instead.

He barely ate. There was no life in his movements…or in his eyes. I'd as good as killed him with my words.

The day passed, but it never got better. He still barely talked, barely ate, barely did anything at all. Even Goma couldn't make him smile. It was killing me. I had to talk…I had to sort it out. I didn't dare to – couldn't' bear to talk to him. He wouldn't say anything, I know, but he would train those lifeless eyes on me, and a mocking _I killed him I killed him_ would run itself over and over again in my mind.

So it would have to be Yamato. Again.

"I'm sorry." I managed to corner him in the clearing. "I never thought it would happen like this."

Tears came to my eyes. I couldn't help it.

"He didn't want me to tell you. He knew you wouldn't accept it."

The expression in his eyes was unreadable, he didn't say a word.

"It's just that – it's just that he loves you so much! You should have heard his voice! I thought it was the sweetest thing in the world, the way he felt, I never thought that you wouldn't think so too! I'm sorry! I wouldn't have told you if I hadn't thought –"

"- It's not that, Sora, I – I think I love him too."

The shock in his eyes as he realised what he'd said mirrored mine.

Hope, quick and beating, rose to my heart.

"Yamato –" My throat was dry, I tried again, louder. "Yamato, did you mean what you said?"

"I don't know, I –" He looked bewildered. He took a deep breath, continued, "I care very much about him. I – I want to protect him. I…it hurts to see him hurt…Gods…yes. I –"

He swallowed, closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his voice was an almost reverent whisper.

"I love him. I love Jyou."

I could have drowned in the happiness.

_Yes! Yes!_

"You have to tell him." I was smiling, I couldn't stop. "You have to find him and tell him."

He nodded. He was smiling too.

"I will. Trust me, I will."

He turned to leave, intent clear in his eyes. And just before he stepped through the bushes, he looked back for a little while.

"Sora…thank you."

And he was gone.

I felt like a great load had been lifted off my heart. I looked up, and for the first time in too long, noticed that the sky was beautiful.

** **

**To be continued…**


	3. From the eyes of Yamato

…And this is the *ta-dah!* resolution! Bringing another incredibly sappy fic to a close…

Part Three. From Yamato's point of view. Picks up right where the previous part left off and wraps it right up. People looking for the meaning of life in this fic, it's amazing you've stayed so long. It's just a cotton-candy little ficcy written to alleviate exam stress. Better luck with Kimeru.

# 

# Soshite…Promise

[From the eyes of Yamato]

By Djinn

Even as I cursed mildly at the bushes and branches, my own words of not more than five minutes ago keep echoing in my mind.

_"I love him. I love Jyou."_

I can't keep away the smile that crosses my face at that thought. With that one confession, that one line, I had sorted out the troubled feelings that had plagued my mind and heart for longer than I cared to consider…ever since he started becoming more than a friend in my deepest secrets.

Oh, he worried too much, that was true, but he was braver than he let on, and we knew it. And he was always almost certainly sweet, in that awkward, gawky way of his. I don't know what it was that first led me to notice his strange, unnameable quality…perhaps it was the responsibility that we shared, that undeniable feeling that we were in charge of the others' well-being, their very survival.

The same undeniable feeling that led to quiet, understanding gazes when trouble knocked and barged in uninvited…it wasn't long before I started seeing a different meaning in that gaze.

And apparently, it wasn't just all my imagination and overheated desires.

I had never dared to probe my distressed emotions, afraid to consider that it might be true, that I might have fallen in love with one I could never have. Oh, it was easy to ignore my heart. I was so used to being alone, I almost never thought about companionship – and perhaps something more lasting – anymore.

But if he loved me too…

I sighed, almost involuntarily, not knowing how to feel about the sudden fear-excitement that rose in my throat. Love was such a muddled-up thing.

But I had to find him, and tell him. That much I knew.

Of course, the finding was the hard part.

I swore again as I pushed through the umpteenth shrub that blocked my way. Who'd have thought that a forest could have so many different hidden clearings and so many damned trees?

Then my words were stopped short as I emerged from the bushes – to be confronted by the breathtaking blue of the shoreline…and the even more breathtaking blue of his hair.

Well, the finding was over…and it wasn't the hard part.

This was.

He'd looked up at my unannounced arrival, and for a second I had seen a flash of – something – in his eyes. Fear? Hurt? Grief? I couldn't tell. The dead, empty look that had haunted me for the better part of the past day had claimed him again. He stared at me with that soul-less gaze for a few moments, then turned it back to the lake.

"Jyou…" I went forward, went to him. He didn't turn.

"Please. Don't." His voice was soft, not really a whisper, but almost. It sounded just as dead as his gaze…Was I the one who did this to him?

I suppose so.

"I know what you're going to say. Don't. It'll only hurt."

Ah. At least his words still held the feeling his voice did not…even if it wasn't what I wanted him to feel.

"Jyou, please," I urged, "Stand up. Look at me. I have to tell you –"

"Tell me what? You don't have to say you're sorry," he had done as I said, his dead eyes staring into mine even as his words cut me off, "I do."

I got mad. I couldn't help myself. That dead, dead voice echoed in my ears, the dead gaze in my eyes, I got mad. And I'm not even sure at who.

I grabbed his wrist, ignoring the brief flash of pain that passed into the eyes.

"Listen to me, dammit!" I shouted, "Why can't you listen to me?! Just let me finish what I'll have to say?! What makes you think I'll hate you, anyway?! Am I really that shallow?! 'Cause, dammit, Jyou, I love you! I –"

My words faded away as I realised he was really _crying_ now, not just tears in his eyes, but wretched, shaking sobs that wracked his frame; his other hand had gone up to his face, over his eyes, his glasses now upon the sand. I let go of his wrist in shock, and he slid down to the ground, never stopping his weeping.

I stared at him, feeling helpless and awkward as his heart-breaking cries echoed across the lake.

"Um. I thought you'd be pleased that I said that."

The sobbing suddenly diminished, and I was taken aback when he said, "Wait. What did you say?"

_Huh? He didn't hear me?_

"Uh, I said I love you."

The crying stopped altogether. There was a moment of silence.

"You said you love me?"

"Uh huh."

"…You love me?"

"Yes, that's what I said. Thrice."

He lowered his hands from his face.

"I went through all that and now you're telling me you love me?"

I was starting to get a bit annoyed.

"Yes. Would you rather I say no?"

"No!" He said, just a little too hastily, "I mean…oh."

Then all of a sudden, his head went back into his hands and he started crying again.

"Oh, great. Now what?"

"N-nothing," He choked out, "I'm just…too happy, that's all."

I shook my head, not knowing whether to laugh, or to cry as well. Instead, I knelt down beside him, gently brought his head up to face me.

"Don't cry…it hurts to see you cry."

I smiled, drinking in the sight of him with his tear-stained cheeks, his large eyes glittering in the light of the soon-setting sun…realised that, for the first time, I could actually _see_ his eyes. I had always assumed they were black, behind those thick lenses of his, but they were really a deep, dark midnight blue…and utterly beautiful.*

Then he was speaking, and I tried to pretend that I hadn't missed his first few words staring at his eyes.

"…still can't believe it…Yama-kun…I'm just so afraid it's all a dream…"

"It's not a dream," I said earnestly, I didn't need to hear everything to know what he was trying to say. "I promise –"

"Don't. Don't promise…I've had enough of promises for a while."

"Oh?" I smiled again, "Then what do you want me to do?"

"Just…just kiss me," His eyes were wide, he was blushing at his own forwardness.

I complied, leaning down to capture his soft, sweet lips beneath mine, gently but firmly nudging my tongue past his teeth, exploring his mouth with slow, lazy strokes…

When we finally parted, his breathing was erratic, a charming wild-eyed look in his dark orbs. When he spoke, he was breathless, struggling to get the right words out.

"Oh. That…that was good. And then…"

He calmed down, smiled at me with a roguish look in his eyes.

"…And then…promise."

"I promise." I grinned. Then I pushed him down onto the sand and kissed him again…and then, there just wasn't much left to say.

It was night when we returned to the campsite, together, my arm around him. His head was down, and he quite refused to look at anything but the ground…but there was a small smile on his face, and I guess everything was okay.

The first thing that greeted us was Sora's anxious face.

Sora…I suppose, in a way, we owe this all to her.

I grinned at her, winked, and turned to kiss him on the cheek. He blushed – and the smile grew wider.

"I love you." I whispered just before we stepped into the light thrown from the flickering flames.

He nodded tightly, still refusing to look at me. I caught a slight "Me too", and that was enough to last me forever.

We stepped into the light together, returning to the others, for the first time since that fateful incident, whole and alive – and more, now that we had each other.

And it was going to be that way from now on, forever.

…I promise.

** **

**END**

** **

*…Well, at least that's what _I'd_ like to believe…


End file.
